Lipstick
by pokeyspot
Summary: CRACKFIC "why do we teach our children to blackmail!" Sakura is prettifying Iruka for his date with Kakashi. Death by powderpuff, guyliner, and you guessed it lipstick. Never. Again. CRACKFIC


**Note**: I don't own Naruto...just the tendency to torment it's characters *pokes Iruka*

* * *

Iruka looked at the clock 2 hours before his date with Kakashi…. if he lived that long.

"….Sakura….- chan…. Remind me….. again" Iruka asked ducking the clothes flying at his head as Sakura rifled through his closet."…. why I'm….. letting you help….. me ….get ready…. for my date." On the word 'date' a pair of boxers hit his head

"Because you are hopeless fashion-wise, while I, out of the kindness of my fashionable heart, offered to help." She turned to smirk at him "But mostly because….. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER."

_Why for the love of crap do we teach our children to blackmail…and use 90's film references?... Don't even get me started on encouraging them to play with pointy objects._

"Ah, that. Right. But it was for their own good!" Iruka grumbled inching away from the pink demon.

"Ya think Naruto will thank you for taking away his ramen, Kakashi will thank you for taking away his porn, and Sasuke-kun will thank you for using that jutusu on him to make him smile constantly?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"It was a intervention for all three addictions!" He protested vehemently before whispering "But your aren't seriously going to tell them are you?"

"Of course not sensei" she said with an 'innocent' grin

SWEATDROP

She turned back to the closet "But on a serious note Iruka-sensei, you have no style. I'm calling in for backup."

"…backup?" Iruka, Fearless Prankster Extrodiner, the teacher that dodged kunai thrown by hellspawn, who had been known to make battle hardened jonin cry in the mission room. Whimpered. Like a little puppy.

This was ignored as Sakura spoke into her mobile

"Yeah Ino, this is an emergency! Round up the girls and supplies then, head over to Iruka-sensai's palce. Yeah that's right Tenten, Hinata, and Sai. Yes I know he's a boy, but one word. Bellyshirt. Need I say more? Just bring them all!"

"Iruka-sensei, what 'cha writing?" Sakura asked the man scribbling furiously on a scroll.

_I, Umino Iruka, Chunin of Konohagakure, being of sound mind declare this to be my will, and I revoke all prior wills and codicils that I have made. My estate and all my worldly possessions I bequeath to Uzumaki Naruto (including my vast collection of ramen) upon the event of my death._

"Oh nothing!" he exclaimed hastily hiding his will away in a drawer.

'The girls' swarmed in through the window, armed with suspicious looking sacks of clothing and what looked like makeup bags.

"No no and no."

"Don't be like that Iruka-sensei, we're just going to do a little touch up here and there." Sai said with his I-will-eat-your-soul smile,

A powderpuff hit Iruka's face and he came up for air with a choking cough.

"_Let me see that hair!"_

"_Oh my god you were right lucky we brought clothes"_

"_I am a man! As in Male, I have a penis –oh god not a dress!"_

"_There there, its just a little eyeliner, guyliner if you will"_

Iruka squirmed, screamed, and hid in the closet form the dress they tried to put him in. All to no avail. He was trapped

* * *

Two Hours Later

KNOCK KNOCK

Kakashi just broke in after there was no response.

A horrified cry rang though the apartment

"Oh my god not the lipstick!"

A brown blur busted out of the bedroom like hellhounds were at his heels. Kakashi stood stunned to find himself with an armful of brunette.

"SAVE ME!" Iruka screamed his face terrified, but artfully colored to bring attention to brown eyes and high cheekbones. He buried his face into Kakashi's chest as the older man wrapped his arms around him.

"Sensei?" Sakura called coming into the living room to find their prey –er project, er- sensei.

She stopped wide-eyed. The other demons – er students, flocked in behind her.

"Ladies, why is Iruka covered in makeup and wearing a dress?" Kakashi asked with frightening patience

"We wanted to make him pretty for your date, K- er sensei." Sakura stuttered

Iruka in his little black dress kept mumbling into Kakashi's chest "not the lipstick anything but that"

"Ah. Well I like him how he is. Do you think his in not 'pretty' enough?" he asked in a bored voice.

Afraid to move Ino said "No, he is pretty enough."

"I am glad that we can agree." He said with a fake smile his eye turned into a evil EVIL little crescent.

"Now please leave, we have some business to attend to." Kakashi said giving them a smile that said 'I will kill you in your sleep'.

"Kakashi?" Iruka muttered confused.

Kakshi just smiled and pulled down his mask pressing his lips gently against Iruka's.

"Oh." Iruka whispered grinning when the other man pulled back.

Kakashi pulled his mask up and Iruka dragged him into the bedroom.

The kids stood in the living room with dumbfounded faces, solemnly sharing a group WTF moment.

Moans broke out from the other room. Ngh_ Kakashi! Harder!_

Sakura blinked blushing "Ah." She snapped her mobile open "Yeah shisho mission get Iruka laid is a success…. Just uh not like we thought."

Tsunade into her mobile across the village "Well done Sakura." _Now maybe he'll let me drink in peace._

"…"

"What is it Sakura?"

"…Do you have a video camera?"

"Yes….?"

"….."

"Sakura?" Tsunade asked frowning.

"…"

"Sakura?"

"…."

Ino picked up Sakura's mobile "Ah, Hokage-sama, sorry Sakura passed out from her nosebleed. So about that camera…"


End file.
